Homophobic Comments.

homophobia |ˌhōməˈfōbēə|
noun
an extreme and irrational aversion to homosexuality and homosexual people.

I go to a university in Ontario that some would argue is more homophobic than other universities nearby. Some have pointed fingers to the conservative nature of my campus, as contributing to the homophobia on campus. It is also debatable that the high volume of muslim students on campus is also a contributor to the homophobia on campus. Although the homophobia is not always overt, the tension of the big pink gay elephant in the room, is a presence that can definitely be felt.

The homophobia on campus ranges from passive actions like turning a cold shoulder to someone handing out a "LGBTQ related button," to a blunt calling of someone a "faggot". As a heterosexual woman, I cannot fathom, nor fully relate to how a homophobic remark can make a person of queer or non-heterosexual orientation, feel. My heterosexuality allows me the privilege of knowing that i cannot identify with the term being thrown at me, allowing me to be more shielded when it comes to homophobic comments, however, this does not mean I am not as deeply effected.

I have always been a person who has been for the equal rights of all people, not only the LGBTQ community, but for everyone, but have taken a particular interest in queer issues... for reasons which are beyond my understanding. I have always been drawn to the queer community. I have been accepting of them, and as an Ally, they have been accepting of me. This is a reason why I do take such offense to derogatory terms, especially knowing these words are CHOICE words that can be used against a group of people who I feel so strongly for.

To hear that someone had used a the f-word in any instance, be it an attempt to make a joke, or just being vulgar, is enough to make my blood boil and make me feel nauseous at the same time. I easily get heated over words like this, and it is apparent in my demeanor when it occurs. It is frustrating to hear these words, and even more enraging to not have an adequate comeback that won't lower you to the offender's level. Words are just words, yes... but they can hurt the fuck out of someone in the right context. Like what do you say to someone who has hatefully called you a fag? or a dyke? Sometimes you just pile on as many adjectives onto the word fuck, and call it a day, other times you're left there with your jaw dropped and a blank mind.

It is a disappointment when people use these terms at all, but more disappointing when people I know use the term. In the past, I too used a few of these words, to "liven up" my vocabulary... but with age and maturity, had realized that these words are inappropriate, and hold no benefit to me saying them. Since this enlightenment, I have made it a personal goal of mine to eradicate such language from my own vocabulary and try and inform others to do so as well. I accept the fact that not everyone will appreciate my interjection and attempt to try and prevent them speaking the way THEY WANT TO SPEAK, however, at least if i try, it may make an impact which can domino effect into something more substantial. I realize that not everyone wants to or even can be "that person" or that "friend" who tries to call you out on your shit, trying to correct your vocabulary, but someone has to. In the end, you may as well make the effort and have it fail, than not make the effort at all. Most likely, that person will recall the time you told them not to call something "so fucking gay..." they may not think too much of it, but they'll remember it, then hopefully, enough time will pass and they may look back and think, "maybe you were right." These words have a history of oppression towards the LGBTQ community and are not acceptable. Not if you're being serious, not even if you're joking. In my mind, if you need to resort to calling someone one of these words "as a joke," get a new comedy routine.

I realize that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that is perfectly fine, but what it comes down to is respect. You might not be down with the gays like I am, you may not understand gay culture, you just might not "get it" and that's fine! but if you don't understand it, at least be a decent human being and respect it. One shouldnt be judging something one doesn't understand... this my friend, is called ignorance. If a queer lifestyle does not agree with your lifestyle, it's cool, IT DOESNT HAVE TO, it isnt the end of the world... let bygones be bygones, and move the hell on.

I live for the day where such words become phased out from the english language. Until then, I'll continue to be that friend to yell out EQUITY at you, and hopes i will get through to you, like someone once did for me.