Sunday, September 26, 2010
I left the teabag in too long.
The tea was bitter, but I drank it anyway. Then I realized, that moment was a metaphor for my life.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Sunday, Wake Up. Give me a cigarette.
My coworker gave me a pack of KENT cigarettes our shift Saturday. I smoked two today.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Homophobic Comments.
homophobia |ˌhōməˈfōbēə|
noun
an extreme and irrational aversion to homosexuality and homosexual people.
I go to a university in Ontario that some would argue is more homophobic than other universities nearby. Some have pointed fingers to the conservative nature of my campus, as contributing to the homophobia on campus. It is also debatable that the high volume of muslim students on campus is also a contributor to the homophobia on campus. Although the homophobia is not always overt, the tension of the big pink gay elephant in the room, is a presence that can definitely be felt.
The homophobia on campus ranges from passive actions like turning a cold shoulder to someone handing out a "LGBTQ related button," to a blunt calling of someone a "faggot". As a heterosexual woman, I cannot fathom, nor fully relate to how a homophobic remark can make a person of queer or non-heterosexual orientation, feel. My heterosexuality allows me the privilege of knowing that i cannot identify with the term being thrown at me, allowing me to be more shielded when it comes to homophobic comments, however, this does not mean I am not as deeply effected.
I have always been a person who has been for the equal rights of all people, not only the LGBTQ community, but for everyone, but have taken a particular interest in queer issues... for reasons which are beyond my understanding. I have always been drawn to the queer community. I have been accepting of them, and as an Ally, they have been accepting of me. This is a reason why I do take such offense to derogatory terms, especially knowing these words are CHOICE words that can be used against a group of people who I feel so strongly for.
To hear that someone had used a the f-word in any instance, be it an attempt to make a joke, or just being vulgar, is enough to make my blood boil and make me feel nauseous at the same time. I easily get heated over words like this, and it is apparent in my demeanor when it occurs. It is frustrating to hear these words, and even more enraging to not have an adequate comeback that won't lower you to the offender's level. Words are just words, yes... but they can hurt the fuck out of someone in the right context. Like what do you say to someone who has hatefully called you a fag? or a dyke? Sometimes you just pile on as many adjectives onto the word fuck, and call it a day, other times you're left there with your jaw dropped and a blank mind.
It is a disappointment when people use these terms at all, but more disappointing when people I know use the term. In the past, I too used a few of these words, to "liven up" my vocabulary... but with age and maturity, had realized that these words are inappropriate, and hold no benefit to me saying them. Since this enlightenment, I have made it a personal goal of mine to eradicate such language from my own vocabulary and try and inform others to do so as well. I accept the fact that not everyone will appreciate my interjection and attempt to try and prevent them speaking the way THEY WANT TO SPEAK, however, at least if i try, it may make an impact which can domino effect into something more substantial. I realize that not everyone wants to or even can be "that person" or that "friend" who tries to call you out on your shit, trying to correct your vocabulary, but someone has to. In the end, you may as well make the effort and have it fail, than not make the effort at all. Most likely, that person will recall the time you told them not to call something "so fucking gay..." they may not think too much of it, but they'll remember it, then hopefully, enough time will pass and they may look back and think, "maybe you were right." These words have a history of oppression towards the LGBTQ community and are not acceptable. Not if you're being serious, not even if you're joking. In my mind, if you need to resort to calling someone one of these words "as a joke," get a new comedy routine.
I realize that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that is perfectly fine, but what it comes down to is respect. You might not be down with the gays like I am, you may not understand gay culture, you just might not "get it" and that's fine! but if you don't understand it, at least be a decent human being and respect it. One shouldnt be judging something one doesn't understand... this my friend, is called ignorance. If a queer lifestyle does not agree with your lifestyle, it's cool, IT DOESNT HAVE TO, it isnt the end of the world... let bygones be bygones, and move the hell on.
I live for the day where such words become phased out from the english language. Until then, I'll continue to be that friend to yell out EQUITY at you, and hopes i will get through to you, like someone once did for me.
Monday, September 13, 2010
PhotoBooth
so when i get bored, i usually put on make up and take pictures. i was bored yesterday, here's what happened:
I have recurring obsessions with all things military and pin-up, can you tell?
I have recurring obsessions with all things military and pin-up, can you tell?
other notes
OH so, i lost SIX POUNDS from frosh (aka, no sleep, poor diet, running around, being sick from the FROSH FLU).
i have also become a pescetarian once again.
i have also become a pescetarian once again.
FROSH (part 2)
Hi all, hope you're well.
So this last week, was my first week back to school. Overall it was a pretty slow week, which is the norm for the first week of classes. Generally profs go through the course outline, and sometimes have a brief lecture which if anything is a short intro to the class.
For one class I am taking, I spent the class period collecting bugs!
The friday of last week was actually, FROSH pt 2, which mainly just encompassed the annual tri-campus frosh parade. the highlight of the day however, was drinking with the other leaders. Our previous week as leaders, all our events were dry... so this friday was like a breath of fresh air to us all.
Being that the only thing i ate all day was a measly slice of pizza flavored cardboard, after a pint of fosters i was already feeling it. 2 beers in, the frosh leaders headed over to a frat house and continued the festivities. the walk there felt like it was dragging, my feet hurt from the parade, so i complained the whole way there. But once we arrived, it was: Kegs. Pool. Eyelash attachment in the bathroom.
We had to drink up quick to make it back to the campus on time to catch buses to our next event. The walk back to the campus, i really do not have much of a recollection of.... LOL. Had to sober up due to responsibilities... but then got cray at the clubbing event thereafter. Tequila shots, Cranberry vodkas, and snakebites. dead. Ended up taking the 12:45 bus home (the last one was 2:30am) because of the exhaustion, and the fact that i worked the next day at 9:15am. Trying to sober up on a bumpy bus ride is really difficult. I was invited to go to denny's once arriving back on campus, but declined, because of the aforementioned job. Drove Miguel home, while sobering up during the drive... i do NOT recommend this, as although i did arrive alive, being a paranoid driver is not good.
Upon arriving home, i crashed. passed out, and woke up a few hours later for work.. Thankfully my coworkers were exhausted and hungover from the night before as well, so i didnt have to suffer alone.
I would say, Frosh was a success. I already miss the people and the atmosphere. I can't wait till Frosh leader appreciation rolls around, so we can all get cray one more time!
So this last week, was my first week back to school. Overall it was a pretty slow week, which is the norm for the first week of classes. Generally profs go through the course outline, and sometimes have a brief lecture which if anything is a short intro to the class.
For one class I am taking, I spent the class period collecting bugs!
The friday of last week was actually, FROSH pt 2, which mainly just encompassed the annual tri-campus frosh parade. the highlight of the day however, was drinking with the other leaders. Our previous week as leaders, all our events were dry... so this friday was like a breath of fresh air to us all.
Being that the only thing i ate all day was a measly slice of pizza flavored cardboard, after a pint of fosters i was already feeling it. 2 beers in, the frosh leaders headed over to a frat house and continued the festivities. the walk there felt like it was dragging, my feet hurt from the parade, so i complained the whole way there. But once we arrived, it was: Kegs. Pool. Eyelash attachment in the bathroom.
We had to drink up quick to make it back to the campus on time to catch buses to our next event. The walk back to the campus, i really do not have much of a recollection of.... LOL. Had to sober up due to responsibilities... but then got cray at the clubbing event thereafter. Tequila shots, Cranberry vodkas, and snakebites. dead. Ended up taking the 12:45 bus home (the last one was 2:30am) because of the exhaustion, and the fact that i worked the next day at 9:15am. Trying to sober up on a bumpy bus ride is really difficult. I was invited to go to denny's once arriving back on campus, but declined, because of the aforementioned job. Drove Miguel home, while sobering up during the drive... i do NOT recommend this, as although i did arrive alive, being a paranoid driver is not good.
Upon arriving home, i crashed. passed out, and woke up a few hours later for work.. Thankfully my coworkers were exhausted and hungover from the night before as well, so i didnt have to suffer alone.
I would say, Frosh was a success. I already miss the people and the atmosphere. I can't wait till Frosh leader appreciation rolls around, so we can all get cray one more time!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Updates!
Life for me has been pretty hectic the past few weeks. With me being in hawaii, it was understandable why i wouldnt want to blog so much.
I miss hawaii so much, flipping through my pictures on my camera is enough to make me miss it.
I spent my days on the beach, in the ocean, just being silent. Scaling volcanic rock barefoot, being asked if i was a local and discovering life in tidal pools. Walking around Honolulu, night and day, going to the local shops and malls, and overall just hanging around.
One of the highlights was me going snorkeling. On the way there was amazing, the view from the catamaran was breathtaking. We were lucky enough to spot dolphins, which swam right up to the boat. It is such a trip to see wild dolphins, especially the spinner variety, that leap out of the water before you. Everything was fine and dandy until, i decided to sit down and got seasick as the boat was anchoring itself... which made snorkeling a hassle. I ingested some salt water as well, because snorkeling equipment is weird, and makes your mouth feel awkward. So every now and then, i'd come up for air, and hate life, gagging because of the gross water. But the real moment of the day was when a total stranger informed me my top fell off in the water. After that, i was done. I climbed back on the boat, threw up, and slept. Didnt even eat lunch, because i hated life. Amazing i know.
The second island i went to was Maui. The island vibe is definitely one to be felt there. It is more remote, and more laid back, in comparison to Honolulu which is more like a busy city because of all the tourists. In maui, we had the nicer villa, and the beach was across the street. I spent most of my maui days at the beach...sometimes going to the beach alone, because I couldnt stand to be indoors.
Hawaii is definitely a place i would love to visit again. the lifestyle there is so laid back. I wouldnt mind staying on a more remote island away from the hussle bussle of tourist life. Already working out for my next trip back.
As if leaving Hawaii was a difficult task in itself, leaving Hawaii, only to go directly to school post-landing, left me butt hurt.
After my 12 hour flight back to toronto, losing 6 hours along the way, I had to book it to school, to fulfill my duties as a frosh leader. Luckily the first day was pretty slack, I was 4 hours late, but the coordinator was aware of my lateness prior to my arrival. All the hard work was done, and the only thing left to do for the day, was eat pizza, and a dance party. Got really slutty and sweaty with the other frosh leaders and the night ended at around 2am.
The next day had a 10am call time, to which that day we I was assigned to my frosh group, containing 2 other leaders, and my froshies (first year students). We did general ice breakers and got to mingle with one another, which was really fun. I got along with my froshies as well as my cofrosh leaders. I got along with the guy just fine, since he was laid back, but still was able to get the job done. He warned me about the other frosh leader we were grouped up with, mentioning she seems serious, and doesnt seem like she would be a good time. She was fine the first day. This day ended in a carnival, as well as a clubbing event at a club down town. At the club, there was a guest appearance from SYTYCD's and ABDC's QuestCrew. More slutty dancing, etc. this night also ended at around 2am.
The next day has a 9am role call, and took place all on campus. It consisted of UTMAC games, basically, stations featuring different activities. Also, a cheer off. During the UTMAC games, my group bonded as a whole, and i could tell all my froshies were starting to love frosh. This day i did however get into an argument with the girl partner, as she was a basic bitch, that cant read a chart. In her own frustration because of her incompetence, she got upset at me, and started a fight. She asked me why i was mad, which i wasnt... well i was more annoyed that she is a dumb bitch that cant follow instructions. She wasnt with aour group the whole day, because she was "volunteering" when no one asked her too. Also, she blames the fact that she was volunteering, as to why she didnt know what was going on. My response was, i was volunteering too, plus we all got the same information at the same time, so it wasnt like she missed anything, she is just too dumb to function, and cannot read a chart. I told her point blank, i didnt appreciate her tone and her getting upset with me, especially when i was trying to help her. Then this foreign bitch comes at me, asking why i was yelling.... i was like BITCH, i am not yelling, i dont even have a voice to yell at you with. GIRL BYE.
my group, combined with hilary's group for the cheer-off, and the stranger bitch in my group left cuz she is useless. Our cheer (made my courtney) had a line referencing the Bed Intruder song, which placed us in the TOP 8 (yeeeeeeee!). We still lost, but whatever.
This night ended in a hypnotist show and talent contest. it ended at around 12.
The last day, was a bust, we were supposed to have a bunch of dt events which got ruined by the weather. We were supposed to collect money for charity, but my group decided to put in our own money, and walk downtown to find food. Hilight, was talking to a cute boy from the jam van, and stealing him a box of pizza. Because of the weather, we didnt do any of the st george events (other than pan handling and eating) so we were moved to medieval times earlier than expected. Me and Hilary got split up, so i was the yellow knight, and she was the black and white one. My knight owned the sporting competition, but later got killed... hilary's knight won. side eye.
after the show, was the dance, which is always a good time. Post the dance, i headed home. this was around 2am. the next morning... well same morning, only a few hours later... i worked.
Pretty confident, i lost some weight because of these weeks.... i lost my voice, and caught a cold... and now fever because of the hecticness of it all.
Going to the gym tomorrow to see whats upppp
I miss hawaii so much, flipping through my pictures on my camera is enough to make me miss it.
I spent my days on the beach, in the ocean, just being silent. Scaling volcanic rock barefoot, being asked if i was a local and discovering life in tidal pools. Walking around Honolulu, night and day, going to the local shops and malls, and overall just hanging around.
One of the highlights was me going snorkeling. On the way there was amazing, the view from the catamaran was breathtaking. We were lucky enough to spot dolphins, which swam right up to the boat. It is such a trip to see wild dolphins, especially the spinner variety, that leap out of the water before you. Everything was fine and dandy until, i decided to sit down and got seasick as the boat was anchoring itself... which made snorkeling a hassle. I ingested some salt water as well, because snorkeling equipment is weird, and makes your mouth feel awkward. So every now and then, i'd come up for air, and hate life, gagging because of the gross water. But the real moment of the day was when a total stranger informed me my top fell off in the water. After that, i was done. I climbed back on the boat, threw up, and slept. Didnt even eat lunch, because i hated life. Amazing i know.
The second island i went to was Maui. The island vibe is definitely one to be felt there. It is more remote, and more laid back, in comparison to Honolulu which is more like a busy city because of all the tourists. In maui, we had the nicer villa, and the beach was across the street. I spent most of my maui days at the beach...sometimes going to the beach alone, because I couldnt stand to be indoors.
Hawaii is definitely a place i would love to visit again. the lifestyle there is so laid back. I wouldnt mind staying on a more remote island away from the hussle bussle of tourist life. Already working out for my next trip back.
As if leaving Hawaii was a difficult task in itself, leaving Hawaii, only to go directly to school post-landing, left me butt hurt.
After my 12 hour flight back to toronto, losing 6 hours along the way, I had to book it to school, to fulfill my duties as a frosh leader. Luckily the first day was pretty slack, I was 4 hours late, but the coordinator was aware of my lateness prior to my arrival. All the hard work was done, and the only thing left to do for the day, was eat pizza, and a dance party. Got really slutty and sweaty with the other frosh leaders and the night ended at around 2am.
The next day had a 10am call time, to which that day we I was assigned to my frosh group, containing 2 other leaders, and my froshies (first year students). We did general ice breakers and got to mingle with one another, which was really fun. I got along with my froshies as well as my cofrosh leaders. I got along with the guy just fine, since he was laid back, but still was able to get the job done. He warned me about the other frosh leader we were grouped up with, mentioning she seems serious, and doesnt seem like she would be a good time. She was fine the first day. This day ended in a carnival, as well as a clubbing event at a club down town. At the club, there was a guest appearance from SYTYCD's and ABDC's QuestCrew. More slutty dancing, etc. this night also ended at around 2am.
The next day has a 9am role call, and took place all on campus. It consisted of UTMAC games, basically, stations featuring different activities. Also, a cheer off. During the UTMAC games, my group bonded as a whole, and i could tell all my froshies were starting to love frosh. This day i did however get into an argument with the girl partner, as she was a basic bitch, that cant read a chart. In her own frustration because of her incompetence, she got upset at me, and started a fight. She asked me why i was mad, which i wasnt... well i was more annoyed that she is a dumb bitch that cant follow instructions. She wasnt with aour group the whole day, because she was "volunteering" when no one asked her too. Also, she blames the fact that she was volunteering, as to why she didnt know what was going on. My response was, i was volunteering too, plus we all got the same information at the same time, so it wasnt like she missed anything, she is just too dumb to function, and cannot read a chart. I told her point blank, i didnt appreciate her tone and her getting upset with me, especially when i was trying to help her. Then this foreign bitch comes at me, asking why i was yelling.... i was like BITCH, i am not yelling, i dont even have a voice to yell at you with. GIRL BYE.
my group, combined with hilary's group for the cheer-off, and the stranger bitch in my group left cuz she is useless. Our cheer (made my courtney) had a line referencing the Bed Intruder song, which placed us in the TOP 8 (yeeeeeeee!). We still lost, but whatever.
This night ended in a hypnotist show and talent contest. it ended at around 12.
The last day, was a bust, we were supposed to have a bunch of dt events which got ruined by the weather. We were supposed to collect money for charity, but my group decided to put in our own money, and walk downtown to find food. Hilight, was talking to a cute boy from the jam van, and stealing him a box of pizza. Because of the weather, we didnt do any of the st george events (other than pan handling and eating) so we were moved to medieval times earlier than expected. Me and Hilary got split up, so i was the yellow knight, and she was the black and white one. My knight owned the sporting competition, but later got killed... hilary's knight won. side eye.
after the show, was the dance, which is always a good time. Post the dance, i headed home. this was around 2am. the next morning... well same morning, only a few hours later... i worked.
Pretty confident, i lost some weight because of these weeks.... i lost my voice, and caught a cold... and now fever because of the hecticness of it all.
Going to the gym tomorrow to see whats upppp
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